Thoughts and feelings at different times
Thoughts and feelings about cancer can change over time. For some people, emotions such as anxiety, fear or worry are felt at certain times, while others can have these feelings through their experiences of cancer. For some, these emotions stop as soon as treatment finishes, but for others, they may continue for years. People may not experience any emotional concerns or difficulties or find that they learn something positive about life or themselves from having cancer.
No two people will experience their cancer the same way and there is no right or wrong way to respond to your cancer or treatment. Whatever you are feeling is natural. There are particular times when having cancer can trigger difficult thoughts and feelings:

Scans and tests
Thoughts and feelings about cancer can begin before diagnosis, with anxiety and worry when new symptoms appear, such as lumps. Recommendations for tests from your GP, having tests and waiting for the results can be very distressing.
If you have been diagnosed with cancer, further testing may be required to find out more about it. Testing may take place during treatment to see how well it is going, and there will be regular check ups when treatment has ended to see if the cancer has returned or is well-controlled. Waiting for tests can create ‘scanxiety’, with common feelings being insecurity, worry and helplessness. These can be particularly intense on anniversaries of your diagnosis or whenever potential symptoms appear again.

Alan’s story
‘It’s the wait that’s really hard. You’re going through the treatment and then you have the wait for the scan results, and there is nothing you can you do. Just wait. You just feel like you’re on a conveyer belt. You’re in the hands of the professionals and you don’t feel you have any control any more. You lose your independence, just sitting there, waiting.’ (Alan)
Diagnosis
Being diagnosed with cancer is stressful. Feelings can include:- fear (of what will happen, of a change in life plans, of the impact of treatment, of the effect on loved ones, of death)
- shock / numbness
- denial
- anger
- worry (such as the impact on work or keeping up with daily activities)
- sadness
- a feeling of being out of control
- vulnerability
- being overwhelmed with treatment options
- grief at the passing of the life you expected to lead
These feelings can subside over time, but if you are feeling these a lot, if they last a long time or if they get in the way of your daily life, they can be a sign of mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression.

Helen’s story
‘I was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. When I went in there and was told, I was like a rabbit in the headlights. The consultant was telling me stuff, but I could not take it in. I felt panicky and in total shock. I knew it was on the cards, but nothing really prepares you for it. And when it sunk in, all I could think of was, “How do we tell the boys?”’ (Helen)
Treatment
Coping and adjusting to cancer treatments can be stressful. It is normal to feel anxious and uncertain leading up to the first treatment with worries including:- What will happen to my cancer in that time?
- Will there be any side-effects? If so, what?
- Will the treatment work? Will it stop working?
- Will I have to stop work or change how I go about my daily chores?

Margaret’s story
‘From the moment the treatment started, I felt I had completely lost control of my body. I did not know how I was going to react. Would I lose my hair? It sounds trivial, but that really was such a massive concern for me. I knew that the chemo I was going on, I was going to lose my hair. Now it’s not the same for everybody, but for me it was traumatic. You look in the mirror and there’s a different person looking back at you. It’s a really big thing. It’s a visual manifestation of something you can’t see.’ (Margaret)
End of curative treatment
It is wrong to think people should be happy and relieved at the end of treatment. Emotional recovery can take a long time. People can feel anxious as they shift from active treatment to support after cancer. Even if cancer has been cured, there may be problems that last a long time, such as fatigue, memory problems, body image and physical intimacy. People can feel isolated as they no longer have regular contact with their clinical teams, or friendships have been affected. People may experience ‘triggers’ such as sights or smells remind them of their cancer.
There may be an understandable fear and worry that the cancer will come back. Many people feel a sense of unease and uncertainty, unsure about what the future will bring. Pains or bumps may cause concern the cancer has returned. Routine scans and follow-up appointments can cause anxiety. Doctors rarely say the word ‘cured’, but for many, the cancer does not return and these feelings get better over time. However, for some people, they will live with a higher risk the cancer will come back.
Surviving cancer may result in a new self, a new understanding of life’s meaning. Sometimes, this may be positive, finding a new appreciation for life.

Mike’s story
‘The fear of relapse is quite a big psychological thing. It is different in different conditions. If you have bowel cancer and at five years, the odds are very low, but you can never say you are “cured.” I had lymphoma, successfully treated. Sometimes if you have similar symptoms, your mind goes back to a place. I know last year, I had glandular fever, which sometimes lymphoma gets mistaken for, and I was thinking, “Gosh! It really resembles a little bit how I felt at the time. I hope it is nothing worse?”’
Cancer has come back
For many, finding out the cancer has returned or worsened can cause a range of emotions including fear, worry and a sense of hopelessness. Other common responses may include irritability, sadness and anxiety. Fears about a loss of independence and the impact on friends and family may return. You may find you do not respond emotionally to cancer the same way the next time: the fight you may have had has gone to be replaced with exhaustion, anger and frustration. However, not everyone who has a recurrence of cancer will experience psychological or emotional challenges. For some, they may find they are better able to cope with cancer if it recurs as they have already been through it and have a greater understanding of what to expect. People respond in different ways to the news the cancer has returned, and whatever way you response is normal and understandable.

Maxine’s story
'When I found out the cancer had returned, I first felt "Here we go again." And I did get some of the old feelings back - the worry about what's going to happen, the anger of 'Why me - Again?' But then I realised, I am not the same person. I am stronger than the person I was. I've been through once: I can get through it again.'
Cancer that cannot be treated
Hearing the news that your treatment for cancer has shifted from trying to cure cancer to providing comfort and relief can be very difficult, leading to anxiety and depression. Common responses include shock, denial, anger, fear and numbness. Many are frightened about the uncertainty, asking questions such as ‘How long do I have left?’ and ‘What will happen to the body and when?’ You may worry about a loss of independence, your ability to work and do your usual daily activities. You might be worried about those you will leave behind. It is normal to feel isolated at this time, particularly as friends and family might not know what to say. The important thing is to know that you are not alone and help is out there for you, should you need it.
Thoughts and feelings about cancer can begin before diagnosis, with anxiety and worry when new symptoms appear, such as lumps. Recommendations for tests from your GP, having tests and waiting for the results can be very distressing.
If you have been diagnosed with cancer, further testing may be required to find out more about it. Testing may take place during treatment to see how well it is going, and there will be regular check ups when treatment has ended to see if the cancer has returned or is well-controlled. Waiting for tests can create ‘scanxiety’, with common feelings being insecurity, worry and helplessness. These can be particularly intense on anniversaries of your diagnosis or whenever potential symptoms appear again.

Alan’s story
‘It’s the wait that’s really hard. You’re going through the treatment and then you have the wait for the scan results, and there is nothing you can you do. Just wait. You just feel like you’re on a conveyer belt. You’re in the hands of the professionals and you don’t feel you have any control any more. You lose your independence, just sitting there, waiting.’ (Alan)
- fear (of what will happen, of a change in life plans, of the impact of treatment, of the effect on loved ones, of death)
- shock / numbness
- denial
- anger
- worry (such as the impact on work or keeping up with daily activities)
- sadness
- a feeling of being out of control
- vulnerability
- being overwhelmed with treatment options
- grief at the passing of the life you expected to lead
These feelings can subside over time, but if you are feeling these a lot, if they last a long time or if they get in the way of your daily life, they can be a sign of mental health problems, such as anxiety or depression.

Helen’s story
‘I was diagnosed with oesophageal cancer. When I went in there and was told, I was like a rabbit in the headlights. The consultant was telling me stuff, but I could not take it in. I felt panicky and in total shock. I knew it was on the cards, but nothing really prepares you for it. And when it sunk in, all I could think of was, “How do we tell the boys?”’ (Helen)
- What will happen to my cancer in that time?
- Will there be any side-effects? If so, what?
- Will the treatment work? Will it stop working?
- Will I have to stop work or change how I go about my daily chores?

Margaret’s story
‘From the moment the treatment started, I felt I had completely lost control of my body. I did not know how I was going to react. Would I lose my hair? It sounds trivial, but that really was such a massive concern for me. I knew that the chemo I was going on, I was going to lose my hair. Now it’s not the same for everybody, but for me it was traumatic. You look in the mirror and there’s a different person looking back at you. It’s a really big thing. It’s a visual manifestation of something you can’t see.’ (Margaret)
It is wrong to think people should be happy and relieved at the end of treatment. Emotional recovery can take a long time. People can feel anxious as they shift from active treatment to support after cancer. Even if cancer has been cured, there may be problems that last a long time, such as fatigue, memory problems, body image and physical intimacy. People can feel isolated as they no longer have regular contact with their clinical teams, or friendships have been affected. People may experience ‘triggers’ such as sights or smells remind them of their cancer.
There may be an understandable fear and worry that the cancer will come back. Many people feel a sense of unease and uncertainty, unsure about what the future will bring. Pains or bumps may cause concern the cancer has returned. Routine scans and follow-up appointments can cause anxiety. Doctors rarely say the word ‘cured’, but for many, the cancer does not return and these feelings get better over time. However, for some people, they will live with a higher risk the cancer will come back.
Surviving cancer may result in a new self, a new understanding of life’s meaning. Sometimes, this may be positive, finding a new appreciation for life.

Mike’s story
‘The fear of relapse is quite a big psychological thing. It is different in different conditions. If you have bowel cancer and at five years, the odds are very low, but you can never say you are “cured.” I had lymphoma, successfully treated. Sometimes if you have similar symptoms, your mind goes back to a place. I know last year, I had glandular fever, which sometimes lymphoma gets mistaken for, and I was thinking, “Gosh! It really resembles a little bit how I felt at the time. I hope it is nothing worse?”’
For many, finding out the cancer has returned or worsened can cause a range of emotions including fear, worry and a sense of hopelessness. Other common responses may include irritability, sadness and anxiety. Fears about a loss of independence and the impact on friends and family may return. You may find you do not respond emotionally to cancer the same way the next time: the fight you may have had has gone to be replaced with exhaustion, anger and frustration. However, not everyone who has a recurrence of cancer will experience psychological or emotional challenges. For some, they may find they are better able to cope with cancer if it recurs as they have already been through it and have a greater understanding of what to expect. People respond in different ways to the news the cancer has returned, and whatever way you response is normal and understandable.

Maxine’s story
'When I found out the cancer had returned, I first felt "Here we go again." And I did get some of the old feelings back - the worry about what's going to happen, the anger of 'Why me - Again?' But then I realised, I am not the same person. I am stronger than the person I was. I've been through once: I can get through it again.'