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Sex and Intimacy

Sex and Intimacy

It is common for people with cancer to experience changes in sexual intimacy as a result of their cancer or treatment. The desire for sexual intimacy is affected by emotions and, conversely, changes to sex life can have an emotional impact. Common problems are:

  • Changes in sex drive caused by the emotional impact of cancer, the side-effects of certain treatments, changes in body image or worries that sex will hurt
  • Changes in sexual organs, e.g. some women can find sex painful and some men may find it difficult to sustain an erection due to treatment
  • A fear of intimacy due to worry about body appearance, hair-loss and feeling less attractive
  • The onset of menopausal symptoms for some women after certain treatments, which affects sex drive
  • Changes in a relationship caused as one person becomes more of a ‘carer’ and the other more ‘cared for’

You can read about Mike’s and Lana's experiences of the impact of cancer on their sex life:

Mike

Mike’s story

‘With me, I had the operation, I’ve got the colostomy bag, and I had to deal with incontinence. It puts you off sex, if I’m being honest. You’re in a dark corner. I’ve got a wife and daughter, and suddenly I’m in a dark corner and I’ve got to make sure I don’t wet myself. It’s a difficult situation to deal with. You just keep thinking you’re useless to your partner.’

Lana’s story

‘My body looked different and I felt different. I found sex painful and lost interest in it. It was just another part of my life that I enjoyed before but now couldn't. A friend persuaded me to speak to my nurse about it. I was really nervous, but they were able to suggest many things that might help me. The main thing though was to not try and hide it from my partner. We now talk about it and can begin working out what works best for both of us.’

Lana

There are various things you can do to help with sexual problems: